Coffee Convenience: Location, Location, Location

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Location, location, location. We hear a lot about it in real estate. But real estate doesn’t pump through my veins at the pace of Rusty Wallace around Talladega Superspeedway.

Coffee, of course, does. I’m always sippin’. I am also always looking for ways to, well, increase the efficiency of my coffee intake. So recently I’ve been thinking about places where I can put a small coffee maker — like a Café Valet — to fill the tank with my fuel of choice more quickly.

Thus, I made a list of ten places where we could add greater coffee convenience to our lives:

1. RV: I don’t own an RV, but I do rent them at least twice each year. And my assumption has always been that they should come with the basics. But to me, basics include having a coffee maker on board, because when I wake up, I’m looking for fuel. If I can get cable, I should be able to get coffee.

2. Boat: Sure, the only boat I’ve got is a pretty basic Bass Cat boat. It’s no luxury cruise ship. Heck, it’s not even a Boston Whaler. But that’s neither here nor there. Coffee isn’t just for my sanity (when I haven’t gotten a bite in 6 hours); it’s also a great trick that gives my bait a kick.

3. Guest Room: We are pack animals. But sometimes, I need coffee before I have to deal with anyone else — and so do my friends. So when my house guests wake up, they sure as hell should expect to find a coffee maker sitting next to the bed. That’s service with a smile.

4. Workshop: I’m a guy. I own tools. Hammers, saws, wrenches and more. But I keep it orderly and, more often than not, use the tools in the workshop in my basement. Which doesn’t have a kitchen. As I work, I sip coffee, and I would rather not go upstairs for a fresh cup every 30 minutes or so. Besides, going up there only increases the odds that the wife will spot me and add to the “honey-do” list.

5. Nightstand: If 71 percent of consumers can sleep next to their smartphones, then we sure could make an argument for putting a coffee maker next to the alarm clock. Now that’s a luxury I can’t live without.

6. Garage: I spend a fair amount of time in the garage, playing with my Hemi, changing the oil and whatnot. I sure could use a coffee maker in there so I could get my grease fix alongside of a hot cup of java.

7. Stadiums: I go to a lot of college football games. And yeah, I love to knock back a few cold beers at the game. But by the end, I'm typically craving a cup of coffee, and it’s always hard to find. I can walk down a New York City street and find 87 Starbucks on one corner, but I can’t get a cup of coffee at a ballgame, which drives me nuts. Hey stadium concession masterminds, could you help a guy out?

8. Barber: I’m not a hair salon guy. I’m a man. I go to a barber. You bet your arse I’d love to have a coffee every now and then while sitting in the chair or at least while waiting my turn. The stories about Earl down at the grocery store can only keep my attention for so long.

9. Movie Theater: I love going to the movies with the family, but it is nearly impossible to find coffee at the movies unless you happen to be inside the theater manager’s office. And last time I went in there to look for some, I almost got thrown out of the theater. Note to self: Don't go in the theater manager's office again.

10. Truck: I went to Stax Museum in Memphis once, and they have this 1970s-era car once owned by Isaac Hayes that had a refrigerated mini-bar in it. If a small car like that can have a mini-bar, then my Ford F150 definitely has the space and power for a coffee maker. I'm out loading and hauling for hours at a time; one of those small thermos things just won't cut it. I need to have steady access to fresh coffee.

** Bonus ** The Bathroom: Yeah, I said it. Forget all of those frilly smelling soaps. How nice would it be to smell a hot cup of coffee brewin’ while you’re in that steamy shower? Not only will it awaken your senses, but it’ll also be ready for you the moment you step out.

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