Seattle Coffee Nonsense

I hate the mall. I really do. And it’s for a variety of reasons. But it seems that every time I venture back into one — typically just to accompany a friend or family member — I accidentally overhear something that rubs me the wrong way.

Just the other day, I was walking through a mall with my friend Jennifer. I came out of a store, and there was some coffee shop there. While Jennifer went into some frilly soap store, I sat down on a bench in the middle of the hallway in front of the coffee shop, and I overheard these two women sipping lattes, talking about Seattle and its coffee.

“You’ve never had a coffee experience until you’ve had Seattle’s,” one woman said.

“I’ve had Seattle’s Best,” the other responded.

“No, that’s not what I’m talking about,” the first woman said. “Drinking coffee in a true Seattle coffee shop — handcrafted by a local barista — is an extraordinary experience. If you ever go, just hit up Analog on Summit Avenue or Caffe Ladro. Trust me!”

That’s just nonsense.

Yes, some coffee is better than other coffee. But most of us don’t need a non-fat decaf latte or a double frappa-cappa-frappa skinny whatever. And no, foam is not coffee.

The reality is, I don’t need to go to Seattle to get good coffee — I can make a pretty darn good cup for next to nothing in the comfort of my own home in about three minutes.

Man, I hate the mall.